One of the advantage of cutting off from people, is that I don’t have to interact with people who are constantly judging me.
There was a time when I used to be very active at work that I used to get some feedback from someone or the other almost everyday.
My observation is that people seem to have some compulsion or an irresistible itch to put others down.
Hence, based on one or two interactions, a conclusion was drawn on my personality.
In an ideal world, I would love to hang around with people who only see positives in me. I don’t want praise but someone who sees my strength. Because if they do, that is exactly what they get from me.
I have worked with people who derived some sadistic pleasure in bringing me down. They drained my energy even though my job required me to be thick skinned.
Sometimes, even being good to them despite them being judgmental did not work. They look for some reaction and try to provoke me.
I had a standard response for such people – ‘Is it?’. Because, I believe in being non-confrontational. Trying to convince people who I am and what I am capable of is a waste of time.
I believe being judgmental is in human’s DNA. We tend to project our own traits in others. Humans expect everyone to be their clone.
If people realized the ‘Power of words’, they would be very cautious in what they speak before they judge others.
I have met people who tell me ‘I am not judging you, but I found you very moody.’ But for me, being moody is not the problem. The problem is someone reminding me that I have mood swings. Of course, I have mood swings. My mood depends on who I meet and how they treat me and how my day went.
I never had any mood swings when I spent an entire day with my son.
Our society has forgotten the art of inquiring about people we know. It’s just a courtesy to know everything is okay. Nobody does that these days. When we do get to interact with people, they have some comment for you that wants you to keep them at a distance.
Why not just be polite ? Just say ‘Hello…Hope everything is okay?’ and move on with life.
Keeping a distance with people is best approach. More closer you get to know people, sooner they start writing a biography of you in their mind.