Coping with life’s challenges

I have always admired people who lost it all and bounced back in life. Reading their stories motivates me to live, and I wish I could meet them someday and wish them a very long life.

I feel sorry for people who have always lived a comfortable life. These are people who are pampered with expensive toys right after they were born, enroll into some university sponsored by their loving dad or mum, earn a degree, go on multiple dates, secure a job based on their degree, go on a vacation every year and then plan to retire a comfortable life.

Such people follow a typical daily routine in life and will follow this pattern until they are taken to their grave:

Breakfast -> Travel to work -> Work –> Back home -> Watch TV –> Dinner –> Sex –> Repeat

Do you really call this life ? And, do you really want such a boring, mundane and predictable life ?

Life is all about struggling to pay for your college fees, struggling to find that dream job, struggling to find the right partner, losing a job after years of hard work, losing all your savings in stock market crash, starting a business and failing, your friends dump you when you need them the most, losing your home due to natural disaster e.g. a hurricane and then bouncing back in style, regaining every penny that you have lost and later proudly tell the world ‘I have seen it all. I know what life is all about’.

When people have been through a tough life earlier in their life, they are well equipped to cope with challenges later in life.

No one in this world is immune to life’s challenges. That is how life is meant to be. Education, career, relationships etc- people are bound to face setbacks at some point in life.

People who have always lived an easy life are the ones who always play the ‘blame game’ when they hit the slightest challenge in life. They never learn to own responsibility and take control. They look for an escape. This often happens in relationships, where people just walk out when they face the slightest challenge. The irony is that relationships are formed just so that people are there for each other during difficult times.

For the brave among us in this world, setbacks becomes a routine of life. They bounce back in life stronger than before. And, they don’t do it alone. They usually have a strong spouse or a close friend to hold their hand and help them bounce back.

And there are millions every year around the world,  who do not have a support system, stigmatized by society, left alone to solve their own problems,  and hence they leave this cruel world, with a note, not blaming anyone but themselves for their decision. This shouldn’t happen at all. This is the failure of our society at large.  And, this is exactly what I am advocating on my blog.

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What can we learn from watching news ?

Majority of us follow news to keep ourselves updated with what is happening around the world. Not many realize that news only highlights negative events. The reason being humans love negativity.

Whenever there is an unfortunate accident e.g. an air crash, the news is discussed by everyone about the accident and people express sympathy. The reason people express sympathy is just to show off to their colleagues and friends that they themselves are wonderful human beings. The truth is that they are not really concerned unless they have lost their own loved ones in that air crash.

News is the true reflection of our society. As long as adversity happens to others, we are fine. When it happens to our own people or ourselves, then it becomes a life challenge and we expect support from everyone.

Why do we keep thinking about past mistakes ?

First and foremost, we need to understand that if all of us tend to think about our past mistakes, then there must be a reason.

Most times, the problem is not the problem itself. But the fact that we keep thinking about past problems. This biological process of the brain is called rumination.

The reason God designed our human brain that way is to remind ourselves of what steps we had taken in the past when we faced dangers, and apply the knowledge when you face a similar problem in future. God’s design was most likely for attacks from tigers or any other wild animals.

However, now that humans have moved to civilized society for a better life, we do not have any danger of tigers attacking us, however we have created a new set of problems along the way.

Problems in relationships, career and life in general are our own creation and is a result of us wanting to live a comfortable life. We tend to ruminate about the setbacks we experience such as job loss, break ups, financial loss etc.

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When people go through challenging times, they read a lot of self-help books. Self help books are good motivators and will make you feel good for a brief period. But feeling good won’t change your situation.

Besides that, only the publishers and authors make money from your vulnerability when you are in a miserable situation.

I am not suggesting that you don’t read. But bear in mind that struggles that people have gone through is something that you have to go through too.

I know you won’t feel good, but that is the reality.

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Losing a job is not the end of the world

The world has witnessed one of the worst recession in the past century. The world of employment has changed. Job for life does not exists anymore. Layoffs, redundancies will be the norm in the future.

All you can do is be prepared. Many make the mistake of staying at home to avoid the people they know because of the stigma. Don’t worry about what people think. This is the time to go around doing some networking, visit coffee shops, talk to people, explore new career opportunities.

You will definitely go through some anxious moments. But you can’t do anything except to wait until you have the right opportunity.

It is important not to get too frustrated and let it affect your family especially children.

This is the best time to upgrade your skills before you apply for another job.

 

When your love falls apart..

Image credit: Suvarna Ventures

People forget that  love is about long term companionship and the ups and down in a couple’s life only makes the bonding stronger. These days people just walk out at the slightest problem. They move on in search for someone better but only until they face another challenge in life.

As mentioned earlier, these are people who always lived a comfortable life. They are not willing to face challenges in life.

Sometimes the solution to marital problems is the way couples speak to each other.

Relationships is a classic example where people walk out instead of facing the problem head on.

Depression, Bipolar are illnesses that affect relationships more than anything else. When one of the partner pushes the other way, there is conflict, confusion and the beginning of the turmoil in the relationship.

While movies and books of romance genres only depict couples who lived happily ever after, the reality is different.

Every life challenge a couple faces can be overcome, even when one of the partner experiences hyper-sexuality due to bipolar (which not many are aware of). These will be tough time but only both face the storm together, you can consider yourself a successful married couple.

Life teaches us that for every problem there is a solution.

Strong people break down too

When people who were strong to deal every blow with a smile on their face break down, they ask themselves ‘Why me’?  The answer is because you are human. God did not design us to cope with so much workload and life stress. We were meant to be hunting or fishing – remember ? And not work 12-15 hours a day.

In pursuit of a better life, we have to deal with a lot of challenges on our way.

Another problem in society, even though most people live in a city of million, we are still alone.

Our society stigmatizes  these strong people who suffer from depression – very similar to the news – people won’t care until it happens to them.

The truth about depression is that strong people succumb to this illness because of all the insensitive jerks around them. Hence, it is foolish to expect any support from such people.

When you are going through depression, remember that it is meant to change your future. You will surely come out of it. When your brain works overtime, it is time to reflect who you wish to keep in your friends circle, whom to get rid off and how you will deal with life from now on.

There are medication available but the best treatment is sunlight, sugar free diet, light music, exercise, writing and company of compassionate people.

 

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As a society, we must worry about people who do not have the right level of support.

When you know someone is going through hard times, it is best to reach out to them even if you are unable to offer any help.

It is also high time people stop stigmatizing people because of failures and setbacks. Nobody is immune to setbacks.

Failure is part of life’s journey – it’s not a crime.

Nobody should ever leave this beautiful world ahead of their time.