How to deal with argumentative people ?

We have all been unfortunate at least once in our life, to have to deal with an argumentative personality, either at work or in personal life, who picks on argumentative just for the fun of it.

It is even more sad, when the argumentative person is someone you have to live with, either a spouse or a parent, when you have to deal with arguments every alternative day that leaves a permanent mental scar for the rest of your life.

Most times, a mature, knowledgeable and a compassionate person will be able to convey his/her point across to another person in just few sentences.  Argumentative people won’t agree with you just for the sake of not agreeing with you and will have a speech for you that is longer than the U.S. President’s inaugural speech, when there is no real reason to.

In this post, I shall cover the difficulty people face with argumentative parents, spouse and in workplaces which affect their mental well being. It is no longer enough to say that we can’t change people, we can only change how we react to them.

We need to understand that living in modern times, we are better equipped with knowledge about how negative energy that is created through arguments and negative talks can affect people around them. This must start at home, followed by workplace if we have to stop the menace of depression spreading as an epidemic.

Argumentative people have certain traits which needs close observation. They were never good at resolving personal or life’s issues. The only way out for them is to blame someone when life does not go their way.

The problem is not restricted to uneducated people e.g. grand parents. This problem exists in people you meet in everyday life. They most probably picked up this negative style of communication from their parents or grand parents, who in turn picked up this communication style from their parents and passed it onto future generations.

While you can choose to ignore an argumentative friend, a co-worker or an acquaintance, life could get difficult when the person you have to deal with are either your parents, your boss or a customer.

Argumentative people are self-absorbed and there is no two opinion about it. Most people don’t know they are self-absorbed though because that is how they have been all their life and that is an even bigger problem.

When they think the universe revolves around them, they expect you to live their life, and, when their expectations are not met, they tend to pick on you through arguments. They tend to forget that you have a life too, your own challenges, aspirations, experiences and a perspective about life of your own.

Life can get complicated when the argumentative person is a parent. We have all had to deal with one during our teens. Many parents do not realize that the argumentative style of disciplining their kids or teens actually does a long term damage to them and that includes mental health issues such as depression.

Teens especially are in the most vulnerable phase when their brain is still developing and lots of uncertainties in their life. They expect a supporting parents for the decisions they make with respect to academic or career choice. Getting upset once is fine when their disapproval is expressed is fine. However, when it goes on forever, then bear in mind these are negative words that transmit negative energy around.

Have you observed that when parents are yelling at their kids, they tend to lose all enthusiasm and then lie on bed or on the couch. This is exactly what negative energy does to kids.

Parents play a very important role in children’s emotional development. This could shape their child/teen’s negative personality when they grow up which becomes difficult to address later in life.

In workplaces, conflicts, arguments is common place even though there is no need for it if the organization culture promotes collaboration. Sadly, that is not the case.

While argumentative co-workers is easy to ignore, a boss maybe slightly difficult. It’s best to ask the boss to send an e-mail, as this avoids the possibility of argument ruining your day, your emotional well-being, relationship with co-workers and performance at work.

An argumentative spouse is an example of not having worked on their communication skills at an early age. Most couples argue, simply because they can and sometimes just to vent out anger from elsewhere.

Sometimes, the arguments are outright silly and childish. Grown up people have still not figured out that no problem in the world was ever solved through arguments. However, they still continue to do so and in the process ruin a relationship.

If couples promise each other early in the relationship that they difference of views can be expressed in a polite and respectful way and they keep reminding themselves of their promise, then this will go a long way in building a long term relationship.

Don’t let proving a point become more important than resolving an issue.

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5 thoughts on “How to deal with argumentative people ?

  1. “Don’t let proving a point become more important than resolving an issue”
    This is so true. If you are around an argumentative person, he/she will definitey try to prove points, which could be illogical or false.

    Liked by 1 person

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