Why do people argue ?

I honestly believe, I should have been awarded a ‘Nobel peace prize’ by now.

If there is one thing (among hundreds of others) where I am not good at, is arguing with people. Because, I always wondered what are people arguing about ? Just make your point clear and done and dusted, And, move on with life.

Though I write a lot on serious and sensitive topics here, but in real life, I am a seriously funny person – at least that is how I used to be before this damn depression struck me.

Have always been a people observer all my life,  wherever I go. I like to watch how people behave, how they act, those expressions people make – some genuine, some made up.

But the real fun is watching people argue. For a start, both parties don’t know what they are talking about but they seem to think there is no other way to express view point other than yelling at each other. Maybe, if they made it clear in a polite tone, the other person will understand better and there won’t be any argument in the first place.

Tell you what ? I know people who really love arguments. They can’t digest their food if they didn’t have at least one argument every day. And, this is before they re-unite with their wife at the end of the day.

I have also met people  at work who scare the hell out of me. I knew one customer at work, who wanted to know if a project could be delivered in couple of weeks. Unfortunately, I had to give him the bad news that it wasn’t possible, however hard my team tried.

So this customer walked over to my desk, asked me if I had a minute. I replied ‘Of course’ though my heart beat faster and I knew what was coming.

He took me to a meeting room after a half a mile walk and then started arguing with me that went on for almost an hour that ended almost in a threat to deliver. My position did not change. I apologized though I had no reason to. The matter escalated and we had more arguments. Finally, nothing changed. My plan worked out the project would take 6 weeks. I still remember the argument. So, what was the argument about ?

Just power and pressure game ? And, how did the argument help me ?  It got me stressed and nervous. I feared I would lose my job. I was very clear that the project would take 6 weeks. It was unnecessary stress.

If people understand that you don’t argue for the sake of arguing and listen to other’s perspective, then there is a possibility a lot of arguments and stress could be avoided. Most people who argue repeat the same point over and over again like a music record.

There are many political issues for past many decades people have been arguing, debating and indulging in mud slinging, yet, there is no solution.

I was never a fan of lecturing people. Just get straight to the point and move one with life. Life is short. Why waste time in arguing ?

The words I would say is ‘I hear what you are saying. Let me get back to you on this one.’ This gives me time to articulate my response if it isn’t too pleasant.

If one needs solutions to problems, one needs to think with a cool head. Let the other person speak, appreciate their view points and then express your own view points and agree on a solution.

Arguments is a waste of time and energy.

When we understand that each one of us will have a different perspective to any given situation, we will have less of arguments and more of amicable solutions.


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