In a loud world that loves conflicts, debates, arguments and violence, non-confrontational people are considered weak, spineless and cowards by many.
It is a myth that one can put their point across only through confrontation and there is no other way.
All my life, I have avoided unnecessary confrontation with people, because I see good in others and value relationships more than others do with me.
One can call me whatever they wish, the fact is, I am at peace today.
When I reflect on my past though, especially my experience at workplaces, what haunts me even today are those negative conversations initiated by others, where I choose to remain silent and tried to diffuse the situation and not let the negativity bother me. Well, it did bother me later on. I wished I could give it back to them.
However, later when I discovered the ‘Power of Words’ and how a confrontation can have negative impact on our own emotional well being, I feel relieved that the approach I had taken all my life was the right one even though there was temporary discomfort.
In my experience, people who are non-confrontational have very few incidents where confrontation takes place in the first place because they use the right choice of words that does not intentionally offend people.
There are people who just love confrontation. They can’t digest their food without upsetting at least one person per day. They have an irresistible urge to pick on people just to make themselves feel superior.
When people get confrontational, nobody wins. It is the beginning of the relationship going down south. Many of the arguments people have is very childish. They are only seeking attention. They are self-centered people who are more worried about how they feel about themselves instead of how they make others feel.
There are many approaches where one can put their point across to another person, without making the other person defensive and uncomfortable.
I tell people ‘You win’ , ‘I lose’ – whatever makes you happy. I have nothing to gain. If you want me to apologize for something I have done wrong, then please say so in a polite manner and in private.
My life experience tells me, that those who win arguments actually do not win anything. In the long term, there are regrets. They wish ‘Aah ! I shouldn’t have said that’.
The trouble with most people is not that they make mistakes, but the fact that people don’t learn.
With every conversation you have with people, one must try and plan the conversation in advance. Should I bring up that topic today ? or maybe another day when things have settled down ?
Sometimes, after few days, you will find that there is no need to bring up a topic that could potentially ruin your relationship.
I realized that these are little things that add up leading a happy life.
People who choose to be confrontational, must watch this space for my mega post ‘Power of Words’.
At the end of the day, I just need a peaceful sleep and a hug from my son.