Humans are different to other living beings solely on one aspect – emotions.
Among all emotions, anger is one of the most unpleasant of them all and can be very dangerous not only to the people around the angry soul, but also the person who is angry as well.
We tend to think anger as always something negative and something which can be easily controlled by any individual.
Perhaps, the experience for most people of someone else or sometimes themselves in a state of anger was of people yelling, throwing tantrums, objects and abuses. There are so many out there for whom being ‘always’ angry is their personality and they think that is how they are and they will never change. Such anger is only a result of not knowing any other way of expressing displeasure. For them, this is how they have always behaved, and this behavior was accepted by people close to them and their admirers.
This is one of the reason anger is seen in negative light. Such people tend to be “Jekyll and Hyde” personalities. They speak in a condescending manner to people who have less power and have a different tone to those who are superior e.g. a customer or someone who is higher in authority or with a higher social status. They tend to be manipulative and inconsistent too. They could be talking to someone over the phone, in an overly polite tone one minute and be rude to someone else in front of them next minute e.g. yelling at a waiter for not delivering food on time.
There are many reasons one must not get angry for trivial reasons, even though one may think there was a valid reason. It is okay if you just lose it once in a while as long as there is an apology later on when emotions settle down.
Anger may not always be a bad emotion, when used right. One can express anger when there is injustice around the world. In fact, it is good that humans have a way to express their discomfort instead of straight heading towards violence.
Anger can be channelized into motivating force when one has experienced humiliation.
Perhaps, the best example is that of the experience of the greatest leader the world has ever seen – Mahatma Gandhi. When Mohandas Gandhi was younger and lesser known to the world while he lived in South Africa, was thrown out of a train because he sat on a first class compartment, even though he had a valid ticket. Gandhi ji sat all night at the station and later said that it was one of the most creative experience of his life.
Gandhi ji did not return. Instead, he decided to stay in South Africa and fight for justice against racial discrimination. What started from there on was a movement – a fight against injustice and for equality that continued even after he returned to India.
Gandhi ji’s thoughts and views about humanity are admired even today. Never did he let his anger against injustice take over his mind and soul.
In current times, we hear or read a lot about mindfulness. There are many initiatives on anger management and how to maintain peace of mind and equilibrium. Despite all that, I have not seen any emphasis in our education system on the language we speak or the use of right words that can prevent others get angry in the first place.
Many of us are not aware, that there are careless use of words that people speak which can make even the calmest person angry.
My emphasis through several blog posts is make people aware of the words that can upset people unknowingly and we must remove them from our diction.
Another interesting perspective on anger is, if you believe in zodiac’s and personalities, then there are people who are born under certain zodiac’s more prone to being short tempered than others. There is definitely some truth in it. Explaining how astrology works is beyond the scope of this post though.
People who are born under ‘Aries’ sign are known to be short tempered. It is said that when an Aries is angry, run as far as you can.
Who knows Aries better than yours truly ?
When I used to get angry, there was a tremor measured on Richter scale on an average above 9.0.
It took a lot of deep breathing, self awareness and self-discipline to avoid getting angry. The trick is 15 second pause to anyone’s inflammatory remark. It gives me a lot of time to think of the appropriate words how I respond to people. I don’t mind if I looked stupid, but I avoid saying something that I regret the rest of my life.
These days, it takes a lot of hard work for people to make me angry 🙂
Publishing Soon: “Power of Words“