The ideal world we desire to live in, where people show kindness and compassion to each other, was created millions of miles away from our planet Earth.
In the not-so-ideal-world we live in currently, where human species have dominated more than animals and birds, selfishness is a huge problem in our society. Perhaps, it’s human nature to look after our own needs first and don’t care about others. We just can’t blame every negative trait we posses on human evolution.
We could have changed this unkind behavior if we wished to, but humans, sadly, are determined not to.
This post is not another rant about how selfish our world has become. The harsh truth is nothing in this world is ever going to change because of one blog post like this one, even if each individual in this world read it.
While we all have to be selfish for a good reason because if we don’t take care about ourselves, no one else will, there are definitely a lot of mutual benefits if we put others interest first.
Signs of a selfish person
- Selfish people never bother to inquire about you in return when you ask them how they are doing. Simply, because they just don’t care, and it shows during the conversation. It’s best to just end the conversation then and there.
- They do remember you after many years, to kill boredom, when there is no one else in their circle to talk to.
- They get bored of you easily, if they believe you are not going to add any potential value for them in future.
- At workplaces, once you have done what they need from you to succeed or get a promotion, they go blind. They will find it hard to notice you unless you remind them of your existence. You will find them trying to connect with the ‘right’ people in the organization. If they see these ‘right’ people anywhere in the office, they will just walk out of the middle of the conversation with you, to talk to the people who matter to them.
- When they are in a romantic relationship, no one else matters, and they will let every one know about it, until they go through a break up, when everyone must listen to their sob story.
- Your financial status, job title etc is more important to them than to you.
- Because they have been used to being selfish all their life, anyone who inquires about them without a reason, will be dealt with a lot of suspicion.
- They become extremely busy, their phone will develop some problems exactly once they know you have lost your job.
While we can easily spot selfish behavior in others, the hardest thing is to identify this flaw in ourselves.
Relationships are not designed for selfish individuals. You got to have a ‘You scratch my back, I scratch yours’ approach in every relationship, not just the romantic ones.
A lot of people have reached out to me sharing concerns about their partner being aloof and being self-absorbed. This is what depression does to an individual. For people suffering from depression, the long term cure and a lifestyle change is to think about others and their worries in life. It’s a major distraction from their own worries and there are no side-effects.
When people care about others, they get acknowledged and appreciated in return and nothing better for your own self-esteem than to be valued for what you do to others.
I have also known normal people in life, even if you give them direct feedback, they just don’t get it. It’s best to leave them alone. Such people don’t deserve your time.
Selfish people get erased from my system easily. I just have to say ‘Abracadabra’.