Why friendships fall apart ?

There is nothing dramatic that goes wrong as depicted in movies and novels.

If you have read those posters and quotes about true friendship in your news feed every 3 seconds, reality is very different.

It is not a co-incidence that as people grow older, they have fewer friends. As people settle down in life, people choose friends who are settled too.

It is also true that many have expectations from others how a friend should be but they themselves can’t live those expectations.

Same gender friendships usually last longer than friends of opposite genders.

At some point in life,  people realize that the intensity in friendship when they started doesn’t exist anymore. When only of the friend makes attempt to keep the friendship alive, at some point it is going to fall apart.

With friends from opposite gender, it is hard for them to be close friends and not develop romantic feeling for the other. While some of them go on to live together forever, majority of them will have their friendship ruined in such cases. Though women and men claim platonic friendships can exist, I doubt, knowing men very well.

There is one major reason why friendships don’t last and this happens in all cases.

When someone faces the biggest challenge in life and if friends are not around, in such cases friendship dies a natural death. You wonder what were they doing in your life in the first place. You were better off on your own. I call them party time friends. They disappear when the party is over. One wonders how do they remember you when they need you.

Also, most people are out of sight out of mind. While in colleges and universities, you spend time together, things are not the same once you have settled. Though people try and keep in touch but most slowly drift apart and make new friends.

While we all know nothing lasts  in this world, people try and move on with lessons learnt and become wiser. Unfortunately, it is the same story every time, only the friend is different.

I strongly believed that those who don’t last were not meant to be friends in the first place. That someone better always comes in your life. As long as expectations are set that in current times we are all good as co-passengers. We will meet different people at different times. Nobody stays with you forever.

If you need good friends in your life, you got to be one.

If you don’t have friends, no problem.  I shall write in one of my future posts how to move on with life without any of the friends and the noise that come along with it.

 

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16 thoughts on “Why friendships fall apart ?

  1. One of the most hurtful times in my life was when a very close friend of 30 years, hurt me deeply and I had to let her go. It didn’t take long for me to begin to feel healthier and even more “free” as a person. It took losing her, to see that she had been extremely controlling of my life for many years. I had very few good friends because she controlled who my friends could be. (due to jealousy) Since then I have rekindled old friendships and made many new ones. It was certainly one of the best things for me. I still often get sad about it ending negatively, but I’ve gained such peace from it also.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello Melissa…Thank you for sharing your experience. It must be awful as she was known to you for long term. These things happen. It hurts. But you got to move on and I am glad it worked out positive for you. Be positive and smiling. take care.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I can relate to you on this have experienced this recently. Now I believe it’s better to have limited or no friend at all than to be in company of a person who doesn’t make you feel good about yourself. Where you have to constantly prove your friendship is not worthy of being friends.
    I like your approach “As long as expectations are set that in current times we are all good as co-passengers. “

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Indeed Megha… The problem is people ask what’s there for me ? One needs to think of the other first, but thing is people take you for granted.
      I had cut off from all friends because of various reasons, but always hoped someday I will find someone worthy of calling friend.
      Thank you for your comment.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Relatable and wisely written. I used to believe, “When God is with you, it doesn’t matter who is against you.” Now, I believe, “When God is with you, it doesn’t matter if no one else is.” Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Truth can certainly be bitter, sometimes.

    Liked by 1 person

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